Faded

I may have erased and forgotten the beautiful texts but I will always remember the hurtful words. I no longer remember your touch or the certain way that you kissed, all I remember was that it was different.

 I may have forgotten the way that you smell, but I know that if you hugged me it would all come back; from the dates and the late nights, to the morning breath and the smell of sweat. If you hugged me I would remember the day you told me you asked her out and would no longer be here, the way it made my chest collapse and how I couldn't stop hitting and screaming with tears streaming down my face, how you only stayed because you were afraid I would slit my wrist and you didn't want it to be because of you. 

It is all fading, being replaced by new memories with new people, but oh my hell if you hugged me... How it would all come back.

Something Borrowed, Something Blue.

Death to the insecurities, death to the shyness. 

Death to to the feelings of not being enough, not being handsome, and not being what they all want you to be.

Death to the haters and the feelings of jealousy. To the thoughts of destruction and harm.

To the boy who convinced you with words that you were nothing, that you have chubby cheeks and would be better off gone.

Death to the feeling of rejection, from teacher who only pretend to listen, from the boy who is now crushing on a different girl. 

Death to the feelings of failure from the grades in art to the grades in PE because to be an amazing person you have to pass them all with flying colors or else you don't matter in this world.

Death to the hurt in your chest when he tells you he doesn't love you, and to the pain in your chest when years later you see him with his new wife.

Death to the hurt in your chest when your friends and parents call you names when they yell at you and tell you your wrong.

Death to the awkwardness you feel when you walk into a room and they all stare and makes you wish you'd never walked in at all.

Death to the regret of not living your life the way others want you to, because in the end it's your life, not theirs.

You deserve better than the hate filled words that feel like bricks pilling in your chest, The lack of self love you truly deserve. Put aside all the bad, Not to forget but to help build yourself higher and Stronger than before.

You deserve the Moon and more, you have no limits just what you hold yourself back from achieving, the only wall in your way is you and once you learn to break it down you will be Infinite.